


gotta get up and try (and try and try)

by emorosadiaz



Series: hey, soul sister [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Endgame, Thanos is a bitch, endgame spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emorosadiaz/pseuds/emorosadiaz
Summary: *ENDGAME SPOILERS*“You should,” the woman says. “Because they call me themostdangerous woman in the galaxy.”Natasha’s fingers itch for her batons. “Who are you? And where the hell are we?”“My name is Gamora,” the woman says calmly. “And this is the Soul World.”





	1. gotta get up and try (and try and try)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> endgame spoilers ahead. you have been warned.

Natasha wakes up.

She feels weird, her body tingling as if each of her limbs had fallen asleep. When she opens her eyes, all she sees is orange.

Seems normal.

She sits up slowly, bringing a hand to her head. She looks down at her body, finding no visible evidence to indicate why everything feels so off. She puts her hand back down on the ground, only to find that it’s _water?_

If she had to rank the weirdest places she’s woken up in, this would be one of her top picks. Maybe even number two. (Second only to the first time she woke up at a S.H.I.E.L.D. base.)

But the water isn’t wet, it’s weirdly solid, but also not, and what the _fuck_ is happening, honestly.

“Hello.”

She jumps at the sound of a voice. She stands quickly, nearly falls in the process, and whirls around to face the stranger. It could be a threat, for all she knows. She gets a better look of her surroundings as she moves, only to find orange and water-but-also-not-water stretching out into the horizon, as far as the eye can see.

Finally, her eyes land on the owner of the voice.

It’s a woman, perhaps a few inches taller than Natasha, with green skin and ombré hair with a _way_ cooler color than Natasha’s. The woman looks her up and down.

“You’re the one they call Widow,” the woman says.

Natasha doesn’t relax her stance. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Anyone. Everyone. You’re one of the most dangerous women in the galaxy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” the woman says. “Because they call me the _most_ dangerous woman in the galaxy.”

Natasha’s fingers itch for her batons. “Who are you? And where the hell are we?”

“My name is Gamora,” the woman says calmly. “And this is the Soul World.”

* * *

The “Soul World” is apparently a label to make the experience “you got thrown off a cliff for a stupid rock that now holds your soul prisoner” sound more palatable.  

(When Natasha suggests this description to Gamora, she agrees.)

Granted, though, Natasha didn’t really get _thrown_ , so much as she kind of, just, _let herself fall_ , because she’d do anything to make her family happy and whole again. Even if it means she can’t be there with them again.

As far as Gamora knows, it’s just the two of them there. Which makes sense. Well, Natasha _thinks_ it makes sense. She’s new to all this space crap, admittedly, but if the Soul Stone was just waiting to be taken on Vormir when she and Gamora both met their, uh, untimely deaths for it, it makes sense.

“You understand this more than you give yourself credit for,” Gamora says when Natasha tries to re-explain it all back to Gamora.

The souls of those lost in the snap are also in the Soul Stone-World-Hell- _whatever_ , according to Gamora, but not quite in the same space as the two of them.

“If you concentrate, you can feel them,” Gamora explains. “But you can’t see them.”

And Natasha does concentrate, and does feel _something_ , even if she can’t quite place it. She thinks she feels the essences of Wanda and T’Challa and Sam and it immediately makes her dizzy. Gamora reaches a quick arm out to steady her, and Natasha realizes just how thankful she is to not be alone.

Like Gamora has been.

* * *

When Gamora had first introduced herself, Natasha recognized her immediately from Rocket’s stories about his old team lost in the snap—and as Nebula’s sister. Natasha doesn’t want to assume anything, but from the few things Nebula had mentioned before about their upbringing under Thanos, Natasha feels a certain kinship toward both Nebula and Gamora, as a fellow child violently stripped of her childhood to instead fight and do bad shit.

(And Natasha finds herself suddenly wishing she had a sister to call her own.)

“Time passes differently in the Soul Stone,” Gamora explains, when Natasha talks about the five years she spent with Rocket and Nebula. “It doesn’t feel like five years to me, but it doesn’t feel like minutes, either. It’s just…different.”

“I’m sure it’s still been hard.”

“Of course. You spent more time with one of my friends than I ever did alive,” Gamora points out. “He’s spent more time grieving me than he ever actually spent being with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha says.

“It’s not over yet,” Gamora reassures her.

* * *

 Natasha isn’t sure how much time/not time passes while they sit there, together, in the Soul World, but Gamora’s stories about the Guardians make things pass quickly.

(If they pass at all.)

Natasha learns about each of the fallen members, and the relationships among them. Gamora glows when she talks about their leader, Peter Quill, and it doesn’t take a genius to recognize how closely Gamora holds him to her heart.

“Someone has a crush,” Natasha teases.

“It’s more than a crush.” Gamora doesn’t miss a beat. “I will own up to that.”

They even share a laugh. It’s weird, but also not.

“Tony met Quill on Titan,” Natasha says. “He said he could be obnoxious, but came up with good plans.”

“That was his strong suit,” Gamora confirms. “Sticking to them, however, was another story.”

Gamora’s expression falls, and Natasha doesn’t need to ask to know that Gamora knows exactly what transpired on Titan.

“I know I’ve said it a lot,” Natasha says slowly, “but I’m sorry.”

At that, Gamora brightens up, even if only slightly, and she offers Natasha a small smile.

“If it helps,” Natasha says, “my team was pretty incompetent from the beginning to the end.”

Now Gamora’s full-on laughing.

* * *

It’s weird, being, like, _in_ a rock, because even though Natasha doesn’t see anything physically in front of her aside from the endless orange, she can _feel_ everything, and her mind has an eye of its own.

The Soul Stone makes it from Vormir to Earth. She feels Clint’s presence when he carries it, carries _them_ , the whole way, before handing them off.

(She feels his grief, _everyone’s_ grief when he makes it back, and it’s—it’s _heavy_ , heavier than she would’ve ever dared to guess _anyone_ could feel for her, and she so badly wants to take the pain away, but _she can’t_.

It’s so much, she cries, _sobs_ , even, but Gamora doesn’t judge, or even say anything. She simply sits with Natasha, rubs her back, sheds a few tears of her own—just makes her powerful, friendly presence known.)

They—the stone—make it into this new gauntlet crafted by Tony, and Natasha can’t help but go stir-crazy.

“There has to be some way of breaking out of here,” Natasha says, desperate as she feels the anxiety quickly building among the Avengers. She knows Gamora feels it, too. “We have—we have to _help them_.”

“Just wait,” Gamora says.

* * *

Whatever Gamora’s waiting for, Natasha isn’t sure, but she feels the souls lost in the snap leave them all at once, after Bruce snaps his fingers.

Then a lot of things happen on Earth, and Natasha almost cries again, so overwhelmed by everyone’s emotions, but before she knows it, the battle is won and Thanos is dead for good.

Natasha and Gamora embrace when it all comes to an end, and suddenly they’re transported back in time with Steve and Natasha feels unstable—a feeling she imagines those who were dusted may have experienced.

“Just sit,” Gamora instructs, helping her sit down. Gamora rubs her back again, their weird assassin solidarity stronger than ever, and Natasha coughs. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Gamora—“

“You’re going back,” Gamora says, her tone leaving no room for dissent. “Your captain is returning the stone.”

Natasha can see it all in her mind—Steve marching up that goddamn mountain on Vormir, the Soul Stone in hand, Red Skull waiting for him. He holds up the stone and announces he’s there to trade.

Her head starts pounding. “Steve…”

“You’ll see him soon,” Gamora says softly, as if reassuring her. At this point, Natasha feels halfway out the door of the Soul World, her body tingling like it had when she first entered, and Gamora lets her lean against her. “It’s going to be okay.”

But—Natasha’s mind is foggy, but a part of her still protests— _Gamora_.

“Come with me,” she says.

“I can’t,” Gamora murmurs.

“You have someone—your _family_ —all waiting for you.”

“So do you.”

A strange stand-off for two former assassins: a competition of _you have more people who love and miss you, you deserve to go home more_.

And Natasha can’t help the few tears that escape her eyes then, because she knows it’s happening, she’s leaving, her sacrifice is being undone—

“I’m not leaving you,” she says.

“You have to,” Gamora says.

“I’ll come back for you.”

“Natasha—“

“I’ll—I’m gonna figure it out,” Natasha says. “I swear. I will. I’m coming back.”

Gamora doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t get a chance to.

* * *

 Before Natasha knows what’s happening, Gamora and the orange skies fade from her vision, and when she opens her eyes next, she sees Steve.

“Nat,” he says.

All the feelings she had that indicated she was _alive_ again—heart _thump_ ing against her chest and air quickly filling her lungs—overwhelm her, and she lies her head back against the ground, surprised to find _real_ water there.

“Nat?” Steve asks at her lack of response.

Natasha responds with a sob.

* * *

When Natasha meets the Guardians of the Galaxy, a mixture of grief and hope fill their faces.

She and Gamora both died on Vormir. But Natasha was the one to come back.

“I want to get her out, too,” she tells them, before she even formally introduces herself to the ones who never met her.

“Is it even possible?” Rocket asks, because Peter Quill appears unable to formulate words. “It’s not like we have another Soul Stone just lying around, waiting to be traded.”

Natasha honestly has no idea. Logically and rationally speaking, it should be impossible.

But she’s an Avenger. And they never let “impossible” stop them before. So why should she now?

“We have to try,” she says, eyes focusing on Peter.

He nods slowly, and Nebula places a hand on his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O SHIT WHAT'S NAT GONNA DO......but wait.....what's gamora up to *eyes emoji*


	2. epilogue

After Natasha leaves, Gamora sits cross-legged, eyes closed in deep thought, within the Soul World. 

“Gamora. What will you do?”

She opens her eyes and turns at that, only to see her child self standing there—a physical manifestation of the stone’s own consciousness, a sentient being that judges sacrifices, makes the judgment calls on whose love is powerful enough.

Gamora has known, since the moment she fell, she was not a valid sacrifice for Thanos to make. The stone has known since then, as well.

So, it chose _her_ —not Thanos. And she serves a different purpose.

To stop Thanos.

“I’m getting out of here,” Gamora says, mind clearly made up. “And I’m not letting Thanos win.”

The child eyes her curiously. “Even if the Avengers already won?”

Gamora stands then, facing her child self properly. “They may have won, but I haven’t. He’s still out there.”

She looks off into the distance, as if he’ll manifest himself then and there. Harnessing the six Infinity Stones is not a one-and-done feat; Thanos does not need to be “alive” to still use their power and win.

Their game isn’t over.

And now Gamora has an ally who understands her experience, her power. She may no longer be here _literally_ anymore, but her connection with the Soul Stone is permanent.

She can get a better ending for them. For everyone—Guardian or Avenger or someone in between.

So, with that, she exhales, and sets her jaw.

“Let’s go.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O SHIT WHADDUPPPPP
> 
> so i wanted to 1) write nat & gamora in the soul world after endgame made a fool of me, and 2) set up for a soul world gamora fic i started writing after iw but never finished, where gamora responds to marvel's tom foolery with her own Thing
> 
> so ya that's where we're at yeehaw! let's see if i can finish that other fic now lol
> 
> also yes i am making up my own rules abt how the soul stone works bc endgame was fucking #Unsatisfying so look forward to some powerful soul stone wielding gamora fucking shit up


End file.
